Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
同学
source: http://search-art.aac.pref.aichi.jp/dat/pic/1997/obj199704426l.jpg
昨天给小表妹写了一封信，有好多歉意。很讨厌哪种欠别人什么的心情，那才叫郁闷。想想，真得很久没有努力的联系大家了。应该过得都好吧。。。就算不好也帮不了什么，大家都熬着吧，会有出头之日的
早 上考完西方史，一个头遍两个大，出发之前看到一个老同学的留言，一天心情都不错。嗯，人应该都是喜欢被记得的吧，所以作为群体中的一员也是有义务和责任让 被人知道--他/她是被记着的，没有被时间和人群埋没，也没有白白到这个世界来一趟， 他/她的存在有人不停的证明着。
从这个角度想，我真的是一个很差的人。
Simple is better
source: http://www.thesimpleway.org/images/newkids.gifI was telling somebody the other day that I think my life would be so much simpler and happier if I base my life on what I need than what I want. I thought of this because my mother was asking me what I want her to buy for me from china. And I said a whole bunch of things, like a Christmas list... but then when were discussing each item, I realized I really didn't need any of them except maybe one or two. Then why the heck do I want it? "um.. It would be nice to have" I thought. But it's so much hassle, because all these things would suck out time out of my already well packed day and nights. no matter is it a gadget or a game or whatever... for entertainment or other purposes... to think how much simpler my life would be without my phone or internet, or the computer... I definitely used to sleep more, play more outside and talk to people more. All the new stuff are just gonna take up all my time initially and then end up sitting in a corner in my closet or a drawer somewhere waiting to be given away or thrown out because I really don't need it, and never get around in using it anyways. Back to the conversation with my mom, so I shot down all the things myself and just stop myself from there. And I have definitely noticed it saved me lots of energy. Excitement and anticipation are energy consuming as well. It really is just one thing I don't have to pay any attention to at all... it's a liberating feeling, really.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
14 yrs old mom
source:i'm watching this Japaneses soap called "14 yrs old mother"... obviously it's about a middle school girl got pregnant when she was 14. It was quite funny in a wicked way at first. For instance, there is a scene where she and her "love" interest held hand for the first time and hugged each other, the next scene was 2 months later she discovered that she was pregnant from this incident ... I was shocked. "did i miss something in between?" i kept rewinding and see if i have missed about 10 min of the show or something. It is amazing how american tv had affected my tv logic... because in a regular American teen show, they will show kissing, making out, stripping off their clothes, actually having sex (for the more graphic shows) and then maybe, the girl will be pregnant. But it's more about just casual sex where the consequences are not considered or ever bothered to worry about.
A good friend asked me is it because Americans just plain have "bad" values. "no, i don't think so" i told her... it's just different. The same reason why saying no is rude to Japanese people, but not in the rest of the world. People form their values and their worldly views under quite different circumstances. there are just too many complicated reasons and a long long process how we end up the way we are today.So back to the soap opera... (spoiler warning) She decided to have the baby. And of course, being 14 , it takes such a toll on her under developed body. She nearly died... i'm not sure how it ended yet, cause i'm not there yet.
But in the spirit of pregnancy - a life is a miracle in itself. I still remember when i was little, my aunt asked me and two other cousins of mine that if we want to have babies when we grow up. "nope, i'll play with my friends' or neighbors' kids. but i'm not gonna put up with all this taking care of them crap" and then later, when i got oldder, i don't even want to get married for a number of year. Marrige is overated i told myself. I don't need a piece of paper to validate my love.
I was "pro-choice" as well, i believed the mother should have the right to decide what to do with her unborn child, after all it's her body. But more and more i think being able to have a relationship with another human being is just miraculous. The process of an egg from production to being fertilzed and go through the all development with all the precision and accuracy in my body, then to birth is just inexplicable ! even today, with all these high tech shit we have, we can not replace that process in tubes and machines. Imagine what a great great journey it is! If you belive in destiny, being a mother itself is a destiny that i believe no female should skip if they can help it. Even if you are reproductively challenged, which i worry about that every day, adopt a child... give a family to a needed child. It will change your life, in a good way. Being a mother is naturally naturally a great great job that i think it's gift to women. I treasure it so much. And i am thankful for my mother and her mother and so on.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Snow Sledding!
source:http://www.clipartguide.com/_small/0060-0504-0618-5012.jpg
I went snow sledding today! it was awesome. We had 8 people and 5 sleds. So we went down the hill at the same time! gee, we were going backwards most of the time!
Thanks to Helmi who organized all this, it was my first time, and it definitely rocked my week! Feel all energized now!
If you've never tried, you better get you butt to Orchard downs, yep the apt complex, they have a reasonable size hill covered with snow!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Christmas Break
Yes! Break.
I am excited about the break, not because of the christmas tree or the gifts.. well maybe gifts, but mainly because it is homework free! Stress is unlikely to be free, since you can always count on relatives for that at family gatherings. Rob and I have safely arrived at Pheonix, AZ for christmas with his parents. Mine are also coming over later on this week. It will be a "parents" christmas filled with awkward moments and embarrassing stories. Like that time you peed your pants, or that other time you went to the wrong bathroom... and all these other times that you don't want to talk about.
Our trip was alright. Southwest were on time. We did some christmas shopping today, driving around in the sexy sexy BMW Z4. (Thanks, Tom and Carol) It is a cool idea.... but just way to tiny for us. Especially when i' m used to driving around in a big tall SUV, suddenly i am a field rat running around on the ground, or it feels like it. I would rather have a bigger car. In the matter of getting killed and killing. I choose the latter.
Carol got sick from her beloved grandson, Logan. It is just the classic bitter sweet. Because of her Lupus, it takes a long time for her to get over even the commonest cold. I wish she could get better soon. She is the sweetest lady ever. And she has this glamorous personality. It's like being with a very down to early movie star, charming and lovable!
I'm going back to Texas with my folks on 26th. Really looking forward to see Elaine. I heard there will be lots of stories. I really should email her. I got to see Aaron, Guanting and Jane before i left, jane jane left campus real early this semester (grrrr)... I didn't get to see jason, which i sorta looked forward to. oh well... i got a couple of the grades back, they are not super great. but i'll see to that later.
Happy holidays everyone! I will be driving my sexy Z4 till 26th!
Monday, December 04, 2006
Super Mario 2 = Super Drug Induced
Image source: http://sotss.classicgaming.gamespy.com/media/artwork/smrpg/mario.gif
Yay! I finally got some time to finish up my super mario 2. This one is definitely the odd ball in the mario family. I guess at the end, they try to say it's in Mario's dream. But i really think whoever wrote this game was just trippin' on LSD. There are weird purple aliens, frogs, rats, monkey, train, and all sorts of weird characters! Oh man, it was hard though. Those old nintendo games are way harder than the newer ones. It's a lot of fun. I started Mario 3 but got bored, cause the pace is a lot slower, the worlds are shorter, it just seems not as fun any more....
Well, well. I finished my two exam today. So now for friday, there's stat homework due. I have my kinetics final on Saturday afternoon. Then the next week, control final on monday. stat final on thursday. Lab report due on Thursday. Then i think i should be done.
Image Source: http://www.mundogamers.com/images/Say wha?
Image source: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/1217682/2/istockphoto_1217682_cartoon_explosion.jpg
I'm studying for the 430 mini-final, we have to know these "technological" disaster case studies. So what do we come to learn... um... things blow up because people did wha???
1) Try to replcace pipings while the process is up and running!
2) Hook up the switch in reverse position, on=off, off=on
3) No pressure relief valve on the reactor tank...
4) build houses on heavily chemical contaminanted land, and "donate" it to the educational board for a dollar
5) pay a railroad contractor to build a dam...
.
.
.
the list of most stupid causes goes on, but "i couldn't help by wonder", are these really technological disaster? Have we been all blaming the wrong "guy"? Mr. Tech must be so sad. It's the people's own stupidity...
It's sad but extremely funny in a sick sick way. My face kept getting confused about the emotions on display...
5% vs. 10 %
So i stayed up most of the night to study for Control quiz and 430 exam. Surprisingly i discovered that, the bi-weekly control quizzes are worth 10% of my grade per quiz, whereas, the 430 "mini-final" is only worth 5%, but the latter has way more material to study for, lots of memorizations.
Well, the decision was made. I dedicated most of my time last night for control. Luckily i have a 3 hour break between control and 430, so i'll continue my studying then. Robert has a big day today, 1 hour presentation, solid interviews and the lab tour! Good luck, baby. I love you, and always will stand by you.
Time to go take my quiz,
Later.
Well, the decision was made. I dedicated most of my time last night for control. Luckily i have a 3 hour break between control and 430, so i'll continue my studying then. Robert has a big day today, 1 hour presentation, solid interviews and the lab tour! Good luck, baby. I love you, and always will stand by you.
Time to go take my quiz,
Later.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Portland, OR
Rob has left for Portland OR for a site visit/interview. Wish him luck. I heard the weather would be nice there, in the higher 60's actually. He will be heading back on Tues.
So i'll be sleeping alone for a few days. Having the bed all to myself! aww... i'll miss him.
So i'll be sleeping alone for a few days. Having the bed all to myself! aww... i'll miss him.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
A pain in the neck
I woke up this morning with 1/5 of the normal range of motion left on my neck. I turn my entire body around just so i can see beyond 45 degrees angles on both sides. I have pulled something in my neck. Now it is awekward and painful no matter what position it is in. I'm very close to reaching out and pop some pain killer. But then, i don't think i should, cause if i'm not feeling the pain, i might be less careful and pull it even worse. Afterall, feeling "pain" is self-protecting mechanism enbeded in the body. So i just have to suck it up and try to get over it in the next couple of days.
The semester is coming to an end, so is my drive for schoolwork, assuming i ever had some at one point or another. I thought alot about relatives, it really reminds me about the situation about the neck. Relatives can be such a pain in the neck. other times, they are essential to you life, like your neck, without it, you are useless. Only if "relative troubles" can be healed as fast as neck pain. In a couple of days, i will be able to turn my head again. But relative trouble are just there always, year after year. I read something on a friend's blog one time that i can really relate to just about now.
Relatives
"Sometimes, I really feel like people who are related by blood may not be as close as friends who is not related at all. People are friends or friendly with each other because there is a common ground. For the relatives, these people were given the common ground ever since they were born. Instead of using this common ground, people would go out of their ways to find a common ground with someone that they don't even know. People needed to be connected with others naturally. Even the loneliest painter who always works in his studio wants to have someone who can understand his art. Instead of using this born-given common ground, some people decided to reject it. Some people wanted to be the lone wolf, but he or she can never leave the humanity. He or she needed to be connected with other people in order to stay alive. I really don't understand this type of person. Some advantages were given to you, but you just don't want to use it at all. Even we are related by blood, I don't feel like I know the person at all. I have cousins that I don't even know where he or she lives? What are they doing? How old are they now? What has been happening with them? This just doesn't really make sense. I don't know anything about this relatives without even getting into conflicts or fights with them. It's not like something bad happened and we hate each other, or our parents hate each other. It's just natural ignorance. People take too many things for granted. One of my friends always says "Food on other people's plate always seems better." Instead of eating her own food, she has to fight with another person to get someone else's food. This just doesn't make sense at all. Instead of using what you have already, you would fight, work, and put in a lot of effort for something that's the same as what you have, or even worse. This is a type of human nature. It is so sad that this is happening to us."
- Jane Huang August 06 10:46 PM
The semester is coming to an end, so is my drive for schoolwork, assuming i ever had some at one point or another. I thought alot about relatives, it really reminds me about the situation about the neck. Relatives can be such a pain in the neck. other times, they are essential to you life, like your neck, without it, you are useless. Only if "relative troubles" can be healed as fast as neck pain. In a couple of days, i will be able to turn my head again. But relative trouble are just there always, year after year. I read something on a friend's blog one time that i can really relate to just about now.
Relatives
"Sometimes, I really feel like people who are related by blood may not be as close as friends who is not related at all. People are friends or friendly with each other because there is a common ground. For the relatives, these people were given the common ground ever since they were born. Instead of using this common ground, people would go out of their ways to find a common ground with someone that they don't even know. People needed to be connected with others naturally. Even the loneliest painter who always works in his studio wants to have someone who can understand his art. Instead of using this born-given common ground, some people decided to reject it. Some people wanted to be the lone wolf, but he or she can never leave the humanity. He or she needed to be connected with other people in order to stay alive. I really don't understand this type of person. Some advantages were given to you, but you just don't want to use it at all. Even we are related by blood, I don't feel like I know the person at all. I have cousins that I don't even know where he or she lives? What are they doing? How old are they now? What has been happening with them? This just doesn't really make sense. I don't know anything about this relatives without even getting into conflicts or fights with them. It's not like something bad happened and we hate each other, or our parents hate each other. It's just natural ignorance. People take too many things for granted. One of my friends always says "Food on other people's plate always seems better." Instead of eating her own food, she has to fight with another person to get someone else's food. This just doesn't make sense at all. Instead of using what you have already, you would fight, work, and put in a lot of effort for something that's the same as what you have, or even worse. This is a type of human nature. It is so sad that this is happening to us."
- Jane Huang August 06 10:46 PM
Friday, December 01, 2006
Review
Image Souce: http://sunglasses.go-optic.com/SUNGLASSES/images/dg_dg826s.gif
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you,
the one and the only DG 826 S !!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are shopping for christmas ideas, you better bookmark this baby!
Snow!
Image Source: http://www.fitnessstuffusa.com/images/holiday_02_i_love_snow_design.jpg"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
Yay! I woke up this morning, the room is bright! I looked outside, ah-ha! snow, EVERYWHERE. It's really kinda exciting, up until i stepped outside. There's snow on top of ice from last night. it's not all that fun anymore. I had hang on to Rob the whole time and hope i don't end up kissing the ground.
Despite the troublesome weather, i actually managed to make it to classes this morning. and it's a sweet thing that i did, we got 5 extra points for coming to stat 400 lecture this morning. I guess my instructor was just looking for brownie points on the evaluation forms, since we filled those out right after. Lina was all bitter, since she's been to class all semester but one lecture, and I just "stop by" now and then, still got the points. hehehe I love lina.
Control was good also. We did example problems that was supposed to be similar on question for quiz next monday. Now that's easier to study for, i am not worried as much.
This week has been just way "under-productive"...
Yay! I woke up this morning, the room is bright! I looked outside, ah-ha! snow, EVERYWHERE. It's really kinda exciting, up until i stepped outside. There's snow on top of ice from last night. it's not all that fun anymore. I had hang on to Rob the whole time and hope i don't end up kissing the ground.
I bundled myself up in layers, earmuffs and baseball cap PLUS my thick winter jacket. If you have seen me out today, i probably look like the silly penguin from "Happy Feet" and you would have not recognized me at all. All you can see if just a big white puff ball, with baseball cap sticking out in the front. hahahaha When i got on the bus, i had my coffee mug, lunch box and purse in my hands, didn't really had a chance to remove all these layers, and i realized that i can NOT move at all! I had trouble even tilting my head to check my stop. Anyway, it's nice to stay warm under layers of clothes on a cold winter day. Houston sounds really nice right about now.
Image source: www.cartamundi.com/Media/retail/licensing/children/happyfeet/happyfeetsfeer.jpg
Control was good also. We did example problems that was supposed to be similar on question for quiz next monday. Now that's easier to study for, i am not worried as much.
This week has been just way "under-productive"...
Grandma
It is freezing outside! and raining! Gee, it's gonna snow tomorrow, slippery grounds kill people! But i am glad winter finally came, i've always love the crisp feeling you get when you step outside. Click here for weather forecast in Champaign, IL.
I finally got around to calling grandma tonight. It is always very uplifting to hear her voice and just talk to her about whatever. Somehow i promised her to buy her a big house and a talking camera! hahahaha
I miss my mommy.
I told her about the ungrateful brat. and i guess i wasn't looking for anything really... just to let it out to someone. Talked to holly when she's there also. She doesn't seem be doing much. My poor aunt still surround her own life around holly. Just like any other mother i know. I told my grandma i don't want to go to my own graduation. But i guess just for parents sake, it just has to be done. She suggested to call my uncle to see if he can help with the brat situation. I'm still thinking about it. If she doesn't change her behavior, i guess at one point or another, i'll have to kick her out somehow. My poor mother.
Haven't been too productive. Control quiz and 430 quiz on monday. Lots to study for. I hate this "post-break" syndrome. I just want to sleep!
speaking of which. Sleep sounds good.
I finally got around to calling grandma tonight. It is always very uplifting to hear her voice and just talk to her about whatever. Somehow i promised her to buy her a big house and a talking camera! hahahaha
I miss my mommy.
I told her about the ungrateful brat. and i guess i wasn't looking for anything really... just to let it out to someone. Talked to holly when she's there also. She doesn't seem be doing much. My poor aunt still surround her own life around holly. Just like any other mother i know. I told my grandma i don't want to go to my own graduation. But i guess just for parents sake, it just has to be done. She suggested to call my uncle to see if he can help with the brat situation. I'm still thinking about it. If she doesn't change her behavior, i guess at one point or another, i'll have to kick her out somehow. My poor mother.
Haven't been too productive. Control quiz and 430 quiz on monday. Lots to study for. I hate this "post-break" syndrome. I just want to sleep!
speaking of which. Sleep sounds good.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Ungrateful brat!
I think she is miserable inside. The misery is eating her up, poking holes in her soul. Misery loves company. She's probably bitter she can't bring others down with her. An ugly person, that's what she is, inside and out. Ungrateful, disrespectful and ungraceful. It's ok if you dont have much, it's ok if you don't know much, it's even ok if you can't offer much. But it is absolutely disgusting when you think you don't have enough, while in fact you've been handed so much. The world doesn't own her a thing, on the contrary, she owns others enough. Some people are just never receptive to anything but physical violence. "You've just have to beat the fear into her".
The bottom line is, i know where you sleep...
Image Source: people.bath.ac.uk/mn3mu/lightbulb_cartoon.gif
Image Source: people.bath.ac.uk/mn3mu/lightbulb_cartoon.gif
T4 Free
Image Source: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/711566/2/istockphoto_711566_blood_draw.jpg
Grrrr... work piling up, and i am just sleeping non stop. It's getting very annoying now. Masel class at 3, should i go or not??? um... I better.
It's been a while
Mmmmm.... the last entry was back in aug. when i first moved into my glorious new apt. Time flies on by like nothin! Now it's already December, well darn close anyway. The semester is almost over. Not much new happened really in the past 4 months.
I go to class most of the times, sleep excessively when i get the chance, trying my hardest to actually doing the homeworks and get them turned in. I just realized, maybe that is something new for my college career. I'm actually trying to fulfill my student's duty for once! One more semester to go before i can be rid of schooling for a while. "the uncertain future awaits!... " Blah blah blah I'm not that excited actually, days gone by, years gone by, i'm just glad i'm still standing. And honestly, i don't even want to go to my own graduation ceremony if it's not for my mommy. Just kinda want to get that one pass by unnoticed as well. Family, friends, they are great and all, but being scrutinized for the big dumb question "what are you doing after graduation?" Grrrr... if you say "Oh i don't know" then they'll have this pitiful look on their faces, "aw... you poor thing, your future is going down the drain", or they'll just have this blank face, like they totally did not expect you to say that, "darn it, now i don't know what to say, or how to change the topic, cause the poor kid ain't got a clue when he/she is supposed to have his/her 5 year plan all figured out !"
Whatever, lady/man, things will work out, for better or worse, they always do. You probably are just looking for some nosy gossip material to talk about with your next friend anyways. So i'd be kind and give it to you - I am a senior in cheme who does not know what is going to happen after i graduate. and NO i am NOT worrying sick over it. And YES, i might not even end up using my degree. but DON'T you worry about me, or even try to put me down, cause (1) you can't, and (2) you will be talking about how good i have it soon and just be so jealous that you can burst into bubbles :)
I trimmed my hair today, it wasn't superbly done. but i guess it's tidied up a bit now. I have bangs again, sorta. They are long enough that i can clip it if i choose to. I am just happy i got rid of most of the split ends on the bottom.
Got my physicals today, had some blood work done, everything seems fine right now. Robert had me check out my thyroid, trying to find a cause for all this hair thinning for the past 6 months, and the excessive sleepiness. There got to be something, hair don't just start palling out. But it's really discouraging, cause from what we've been reading, it seems like 8 out of 10 doctors don't know how to correctly diagnose Thyroid problems. The blood work in order isn't really for the right indicators i wanted either, cause the mckinley doctors are just useless bubble gummer sometimes!
Oh well... no control or stat hw this week. so Horray for that. Jane jane and I have finished our Kinetics hw, so that's good. So now, i need to start work on my lab report, and study for 2 quizes next monday!
chao, now.
I go to class most of the times, sleep excessively when i get the chance, trying my hardest to actually doing the homeworks and get them turned in. I just realized, maybe that is something new for my college career. I'm actually trying to fulfill my student's duty for once! One more semester to go before i can be rid of schooling for a while. "the uncertain future awaits!... " Blah blah blah I'm not that excited actually, days gone by, years gone by, i'm just glad i'm still standing. And honestly, i don't even want to go to my own graduation ceremony if it's not for my mommy. Just kinda want to get that one pass by unnoticed as well. Family, friends, they are great and all, but being scrutinized for the big dumb question "what are you doing after graduation?" Grrrr... if you say "Oh i don't know" then they'll have this pitiful look on their faces, "aw... you poor thing, your future is going down the drain", or they'll just have this blank face, like they totally did not expect you to say that, "darn it, now i don't know what to say, or how to change the topic, cause the poor kid ain't got a clue when he/she is supposed to have his/her 5 year plan all figured out !"
Whatever, lady/man, things will work out, for better or worse, they always do. You probably are just looking for some nosy gossip material to talk about with your next friend anyways. So i'd be kind and give it to you - I am a senior in cheme who does not know what is going to happen after i graduate. and NO i am NOT worrying sick over it. And YES, i might not even end up using my degree. but DON'T you worry about me, or even try to put me down, cause (1) you can't, and (2) you will be talking about how good i have it soon and just be so jealous that you can burst into bubbles :)
I trimmed my hair today, it wasn't superbly done. but i guess it's tidied up a bit now. I have bangs again, sorta. They are long enough that i can clip it if i choose to. I am just happy i got rid of most of the split ends on the bottom.
Got my physicals today, had some blood work done, everything seems fine right now. Robert had me check out my thyroid, trying to find a cause for all this hair thinning for the past 6 months, and the excessive sleepiness. There got to be something, hair don't just start palling out. But it's really discouraging, cause from what we've been reading, it seems like 8 out of 10 doctors don't know how to correctly diagnose Thyroid problems. The blood work in order isn't really for the right indicators i wanted either, cause the mckinley doctors are just useless bubble gummer sometimes!
Oh well... no control or stat hw this week. so Horray for that. Jane jane and I have finished our Kinetics hw, so that's good. So now, i need to start work on my lab report, and study for 2 quizes next monday!
chao, now.
Image Source: Hair Magazine Web site. 2006. http://www.hairmagazine.com/
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Catching up
I don't remember when was the last time I wrote anything on here. So since then, not much has happened, but maybe because school has started yet again, my days seem to start moving at a turtle speed! dragful!!! School days suck so much, although I do enjoy seeing all my friends again. Speaking of friends, I really liked my schedule last semester I got to see all my friends in all my classes, Jane, janejane, kalyn, chaowen, guanguan... It was cool to always keep in touch so easily.On the 26th We had an apartment warming/JaneJane B day party! We took a short cut of serving frozen dumplings. Neither I or Jane has time to cook between school and unpacking. I still have so much crap cluttered in the bedroom. Most clothes I need to find place to put away. Everytime I tried to start it always ended in taking a nap or dinner or TV.
We have cable TV in the house now, so my time to study has increasingly decreased to nearly zero. Watching TV get boring really fast though...
I had an crazy episode with At&T, internet wasn't ready at the new apt. when I moved in as they promised, and they will not let me out of the contract either, plus they require me to enter in a new 12 months period to honor the old contract. It was just ridiculous, so I cancelled it, and got insight cable, it's working good so far. We also filed a complaint against At&t with the Better Business Bureau. It seems like AT&T is messing up all the good companies, they should just die die die.
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